VENUS AND MARS
THE IRRITATING DIFFERENCES
Chapter two.
Well what do you know! Mr eco-friendly Mars has now gone one step further in ensuring our safe future. We are now the organic family, and I am the long suffering Venus who has to scan the supermarket every week for the organic version of everything which has been hastily scribbled on my shopping list (recycled paper, of course)
I would love to have a whole morning each week in which to meander through the farmer’s market, carefully choosing our organic ingredients with which to conjour up our vegetarian delights in the kitchen. I would gaze in awe at the produce before selecting my purchases, and put them all in my natural, hand-made wicker basket, whilst having a light-hearted banter with the producers, and sharing age old chutney recipes with the W.I. Very Joanna Trollope, and ever so slightly twee.
Realistically, my allowed one hour supermarket run sees me arriving at the car park amidst grey plumes of exhaust fumes, and racing around with my trolley like a Venus demented. The fact that now everything has to be organic is ever so slightly more irritating than it was when I was just buying ‘green’.
Not to mention the cost! Now something as simple as a vegetable stew requires taking out a small bank loan. By the time I have been shopping for another year we may need to consider re-mortgaging the house!
Hence, Mars has now come up with the idea of growing his own vegetables. He has sectioned off his plot, purchased his wellies, and is all set to engage in serious competition with our elderly neighbour over the size of his carrots.
I will wait with baited breath for the first reaping of his hard labour, and hope (because by this time I will have heard about nothing else for weeks) that his root vegetables still have exactly that, and haven’t been eaten off underground by brave insects who will be able to saunter brazenly through our organic plot without having to hold their breath.
The way I look at it, Mars is quite a simple creature who generally, whilst inside the house, has to put up with several hormonal Venus weeks. So put him outside with a pair of wellies, a spade and some seed potatoes, and he will he as happy as the proverbial pig wading around in his own matter.
Well, let’s hope so anyway, because whilst he’s outside growing it, Venus can get to grips with working out how much money we will save in a year.
Well, that and doing what Venus does best – deciding what to spend it on!
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