Letting go of what weighs you down.
All of us at some point in our lives have housed a whole host of baggage.
Some of the things that have weighed you down are issues you have put into yourself, and some things have been projected onto you by other people.
Maybe an ex partner treated you badly and put you down. Maybe someone told you once you were stupid as a child and you have carried it around with you.
Challenging situations happen in life, it's part of the deal and is somewhat unavoidable. But after you have been through the challenge, learnt from it and grew stronger you must then learn, how to release it.
An example of this was when I was at school. My teachers put me in lower sets for lessons because my spelling was shocking, and hand writing worse. Up until that point I loved to write, but knowing that the teachers thought me 'stupid' I gave up writing my little stories.
This pattern continued all throughout high school until I went to University. My school thought I would never even make it in- but I did!
Whilst there, my tutor called me into her office one day. "Here we go" I thought. But before I could tell her I understood I was stupid she said to me;
"What you have written is brilliant, but you obviously have a lot of trouble with spelling and grammar." I felt like crying right there in the office until she spoke again. "Have you ever thought you may be dyslexic?"
"Wow" I said out loud! I had never thought of that before. After I had the tests I found I was indeed dyslexic and realised I wasn't stupid! I just struggled with words. From that point on I wrote and wrote, not letting it hold me back. And I graduated with a 1st class honours degree.
I let go of the baggage that other people told me I had, and because I was lighter I excelled.
I was also in a long term relationship where my partner put me down, told me I was overweight (when I clearly wasn't) I eventually ended the relationship and thought "hey I ended it, I am strong". Whilst this was true I kept playing over what he had said to me so venomously that day. Three years later I realised that I needed to let go of what he had said. That was my past and I wasn't going to let it dictate my future happiness. My future happiness, regarding this particular issue I had, was reliant on me letting go of those harsh judgements, that I alone was continuing to place on myself.
Now in my mid twenties I know that I will face many more challenges, but I have also now learnt how to spot when I am holding on to hurts when I should be setting them free in order to move forward.
So I have compiled a list of 5 ways I let go of that which weighed me down. I hope that someone finds it useful in their own unique journey.
Instead of thinking about the past and putting yourself in that place of hurt again, imagine yourself as an outsider looking in. Almost like you are recalling a film you once saw. Because in my opinion, that memory is about as real as a film in relation to where you are now. Look at yourself in that moment, send yourself loving thoughts and praise yourself for how far you have come since that time.
2) Let all that pain out.
You can do this in many ways, and some situations require more time and healing than others. Counselling is great tool to release this. But for me, simply buying a journey and writing HONESTLY about my feelings really helped me to gain some amazing insights into my own psyche. After you have written everything that has weighed you down get rid of the journal. Rip it into pieces! Or burn it (safely) that was you then, but the future has no room for all that garbage.
3) Align yourself with your values.
We hear this a lot but it is so important. A great way to get aligned with who you are now is to focus on your goals. You can simply write down;
Where I am now...
Where I want to be...
The next steps I can take...
What are my core beliefs?
The last one is important because your core beliefs about yourself need to be aligned with your destination. For example, if you want to go into public speaking but you believe deeply you have nothing of value to say; then no amount of training will give you the push to talk in front of people.
On the other hand, if you deeply believe you have something of value to say, but you just need some help on getting there, you will have a much easier time reaching your goals. This is why working on your inner self is important when aligning yourself to goals. A life coach can help with this, or even giving yourself daily affirmations such as "I have something of real value to share with the world"
4) Accept change.
Change is inevitable and so it's important to be flexible and adapt. When starting out on my business I had several bereavements and major life changes that I hadn't thought would happen. This slowed down the process of my goals because I was then dealing with grief and change. However, I never lost sight of my goals, they were just put on hold for a little while; this is ok! If you set yourself a goal and didn't reach it because life took an unexpected turn, don't beat yourself up about it, it happens to everyone. Simply get back on the saddle at a more appropriate time. You can adapt because you are a resilient, capable person.
5) Have fun!
All this talk of working on yourself, letting go, setting goals is important but so is having fun, being silly and letting that inner child have it's day out! If you can't have fun and enjoy yourself then what are you working so hard for? The reasons for self reflection and goal setting is to allow happiness to flow but sometimes you just need to break your own mould and chill! Book a zorbing day out (where they put you in a giant ball and throw you down a hill, I found this a lot of fun, you may not :) )
or go dancing. You can even act silly in your own home. Tell a joke to a friend, that may find is ridiculous but you will have a laugh about it anyway.
Letting go of the things that hold you down is a process but it can be achieved. Just have the belief in yourself that you can! Everything that has weighed you down will eventually make you stronger. And who knows, you may just really help someone in the future because of your experience.
Have a great week!
Alyssa is a life coach and a Doreen Virtue Certified Angel card reader. She is Co-founder of Holistic Angels which she runs with her talented business partner, and mother Jo. Www.loveholisticangels.co.uk
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