We all have defining moments that set in motion new chapters in our lives. This article has been created from a reflection of mine.
Certain events have an end to their beginning; when we meet our first love, and it turns out they were a lesson not a life time. When we pack our lives and butterflies into suitcases and trundle off to University. When the time comes to pack away our belongings and begin to decide what we want to do with our lives. Other events like having children or getting married can have more of a lasting affect and require some settling into.
Alongside our external journey, is our internal journey. I consciously began mine when I read Susan Jeffers book 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway'. My life changed as I learnt and grew (and continue to do so) and soon discovered my passion for happiness. My purpose was later revealed through being open and willing to experiment with opportunities that life presented me. Four years on, having been inspired by many authors and speakers, I have my own words to share.
So settle down, with a much-loved hot drink, and enjoy...
No-one can give you a life prescription; they can only provide you with a description of theirs When I first discovered self development I purchased books, tapes, cards and I attended seminars and workshops. I would lose myself in words of how success coaches found happiness. While this had a profound effect on my life, I realised that the ingredients to my recipe for joy would be different from someone else's. I had to begin to discover my own truths.
How did I do this? I started asking myself questions, instead of asking others for answers. What is my purpose? What gift have I been given, that if shared would bring joy to myself and others. The only reason I would do any of these things is because I want to and that's enough. The more reasons you have for wanting something, the less you want it. So what would you do for free just because you love to do it?
Happiness comes from the inside, out. Sometimes life brings us up to believe it is the other way around I can look back at my life and see the times when I was focused solely on the actions I would take to create the career I wanted, that would get me the material possessions I wanted, that would get me the relationship I wanted. It had not occurred to me to stop and think of what these things meant to me, and why I was striving to achieve them.
The truth is that even though these external circumstances would have contributed to my happiness temporarily, lasting happiness comes from knowing what we value. Do you really want a nice car, or do you want respect and freedom? Learn to understand the feeling that you desire and take the necessary steps to achieve it on a daily basis.
Happiness is a choice, made by you Ever thought that you could be happy if other people just changed their ways? I went through a stage of believing that if other people thought positively like I was trying to do then I wouldn't feel frustrated.
Everybody is on a path of development whether they consciously realise it or not. If we are not learning and growing as a person were not alive. The only difference is that when you become conscious of it, you think your path is superior. As silly as it sounds I believed that I was closer to enlightenment because I read books.
There may be times when you believe that you could have handled a situation better than someone else. The truth is, that even if you were in a similar situation to another, your life experience has made you different, and you will react accordingly. People do their best, given who they are at that time. Understanding this is one of the paving stones towards your path to patience and forgiveness.
The only thing to be saved from is our thinking Well being is what it feels like to be alive before our thoughts contaminate it.
Have you ever looked at your reflection in the mirror and decided to be unhappy? Has someone else looked at your reflection in the mirror and seen beauty? The simple but profound truth is that the only difference is a difference in thought.
What we are not taught when we are growing up is the importance of thought, and how to understand the influence thoughts have on the way we feel, which affects our behaviour and creates our reality. When we focus on what there is to appreciate, we train our minds to look for the positive. This simple shift in focus will have a huge effect on how happy you feel in life. Every successful person I know is grateful for everything they have.
How can you affect the way you think? One way is the use of affirmations. Commit to having a daily affirmation, and see how it changes your mood throughout the day. Here is one of mine to help you get started, 'My life is unfolding perfectly'.
Accept yourself for who you are in every moment We don't choose the thoughts that enter our mind, but whether we repeat them or change them is within our control, and therefore letting them pass over us is the key to acceptance and peace. Thoughts are not facts, and they are not acts, so if you let them be, that's all they will be.
Are you wondering what to do when you feel negative? I believe that there are times when it is best to do nothing. Understand that your emotions play a vital role in your life. Don't run away from them or label them as wrong because they are what make you human. If I gave you a glass filled with murky water, how would you get the water to become clear? You would let the water settle on its own because that is the nature of the water. Let your thoughts settle in the same way and you will find happiness again because that is the nature of the soul.
I live to be a presence which allows the well being of others to thrive. I hope you feel inspired to look at your own life lessons in a more hopeful and empowering way.
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